But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day/Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.
this descends into crack much faster than the bit above the cut would lead you to believe.
you know what i keep thinking about, is a fic where bucky was like, fucking somebody else in the 107th, before they got captured, before he knew steve was coming over, because he was lonely and horny and pretty sure he was going to die, and whatever, just, whatever
and that guy died, maybe, or wasn’t in the HC, or just sort of…. vanished, after steve showed up, like everyone more or less did, for bucky
but in the ensuing years either he remained alive, and told people about it, or his journal survived somehow
and so bucky barnes became… kind of an icon, for the queer community? this famous war hero, captain america’s right hand, confirmed as having fucked other men by at least one primary source
and so when bucky is relearning himself, based on like, SHIT OTHER PEOPLE SAY OR HAVE SAID, he has to discover his own sexuality through the lens of having been analyzed as part of queer theory and history classes?
OH MY GODDDDDDD
IT’S PERFECT AND I AM CLUTCHING MY FACCCCE
I JUST LIKE
IT WOULD BE SO CONFUSING AND OF COURSE STEVE WOULD BE LIKE, YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSE?!?!?
ONLY, OF COURSE HE COULDN’T SAY THAT
because like a) it’s not like bucky even REMEMBERS it, and b) it’s not like steve ever said to bucky back in the day, HEY WE’RE EXCLUSIVE, because that would’ve been insane, it was the 40s
OH MY GOD
I have this book called ‘A queer history of london’
and there is a whole section about
american soldiers billeted in london
banging their british counterparts
god that’s probably EXACTLY what it was
and like, steve remembers MEETING that guy, the guy that bucky was fucking, and he was totally cordial
said nothing to indicate that he had, you know
SLEPT WITH STEVE’S MAN
PLOWED IN STEVE’S FIELD
HONKY TONKED STEVE’S BADONKADONK
(i’m sorry, i can’t control myself)
also STEVE IS SO RETROACTIVELY JEALOUS
BUCKY WAS HOT IN THE FORTIES STEVE
HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN
steve knows this
FUCK THAT GUY
AND ALL THESE BOOKS
ABOUT HOW BUCKY WAS TOTALLY GETTING LAID BY DUDES DURING WORLD WAR II
BUT THOSE DUDES WERE NAMED
(and also that one british guy whatever fuck that guy)
AND STEVE ROGERS!!!!!!!
WHERE IS THE EXHIBIT IN THE SMITHSONIAN ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES STEVE SUCKED BUCKY’S DICK, HUH???? WHERE IS IT???? WHERE????
“i think maybe you should get it together, man,” sam says
but STEVE WILL NOT GET IT TOGETHER!!!!!!!
or like. he will. but later. NOT RIGHT NOW!!!!!
NOBODY TALKS ABOUT HOW WE BONED BUT WE DID THE SEX, SAM!!!!!
WE DID IT!!!!
HE AND I!!!
NOT HE AND I AND THIS DUDE!
WE HAD SO MUCH SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!! ALL OVER BROOKLYN!!! ALL OVER EUROPE!!!
ONE TIME I THREW UP ON A RIDE AT CONEY ISLAND
AND WE STILL!!!!!
HAD SEX THERE AFTER!!!!!
WE BANGED ON THE ROOF OF THE HAUNTED HOUSE SAM!
WE BANGED IN THE BATHROOMS!!!!
WE BANGED IN FOXHOLES!!!!
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES THE HOWLING COMMANDOS CAUGHT US BANGING SAM
AT LEAST THREE!!!
AT!!! LEAST!!!! THREE!!!!
"you can stop saying ‘banged’ now steve"
“i will NEVER stop saying banged,” hisses steve
"steve nobody uses ‘banged’ anymore, it’s just for idiot hipsters"
"WE BANGED AT THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM BECAUSE BUCKY LIKED THE OTTERS,” steve yells
sam blinks. “he liked the otters… like… sexually??”
steve has to take a step back and apologise
before he explains they went there as a treat to see the animals
and ended up
banging in the bathrooms
thinks bucky probably is sexually attracted to otters
bucky’s really weird.
he’s beginning to understand, based on this conversation
that steve is really weird ALSO
so at least it makes a little more sense than it did before steve started throwing books around and shrieking about queer history professors at columbia
and yelling about how he was the king of bucky’s backside
but bucky’s reaaaaally weird.
I’m crying in the good way now
this was an actual serious idea before i got totally distracted
but tbh i like the distraction better
as the serious idea would be HEAVY WITH MISERY, PROBABLY
or alternately, hilarious
because you could also play it like
bucky goes through one of those deprogramming things people get sent to after cults?
and then like, finds all these books about himself, and decides he’s going to
Find Out What It Means To Be A Queer Icon In New York City In 2014
and ends up just like
going to a million gay bars
in heavy eyeliner
and standing in the corner
glowering at everyone
refusing to have anything between his back and the wall
falling back on his training to Blend and kind of like, vaguely grinding
against said wall
PROBABLY MAKING EYE CONTACT
WITH DEREK HALE
AND THEN LOOKING AWAY
THE IMMEDIATE RECOGNITION OF A PERSON AS SCARED AS THEY ARE ACROSS A CROWDED SWEATY DANCE FLOOR IS TOO MUCH FOR THEM BOTH AND THEY SCRUB THE ENCOUNTER FROM THEIR MINDS
THE ONLY TEEN WOLF/MARVEL CROSSOVER WE’LL EVER NEED
DEREK HALE AND BUCKY BARNES LOCKING EYES FROM ACROSS THE ROOM
AND THEN IMMEDIATELY PRETENDING IT NEVER HAPPENED FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES
SHUDDERING AS THOUGH TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF DEATH
bucky calls steve from a pay phone eventually
(bucky refuses to get a cell phone)
(bucky views cell phones as small tracking devices taken voluntarily by idiots)
(BUCKY WILL NOT BE TRACKED)
he is correct, in all fairness
he is completely correct
probably it’s what he says when steve answers the phone, like he does every time
I WILL NOT BE TRACKED
and steve sighs and is like
and bucky is like, what is a tequila sunrise
and then is like
*why* is a tequila sunrise
crying. crying desperately.
"I can’t get drunk and neither can you. Why are you drinking tequila sunrises?"
bucky’s like, i didn’t drink them
they look disgusting
i watched people order them
i was COLLECTING INTEL
and steve is like, what did you learn?
and bucky, in a small voice, is like
i don’t like it here
THAT’S WHAT I LEARNED
THIS IS NOT A PLACE THAT I LIKE
gay men take their shirts off in nightclubs and I DON’T LIKE NOT BEING CLOTHED IN FRONT OF PEOPLE I DON’T TRUST
he does not say
nor does he say IT WAS LOUD AND DISORIENTING
or even HOW CAN ANYONE STAND TO BE IN A DARK ROOM WITH SO MANY PEOPLE
or I SPENT THE WHOLE TIME THINKING IT WOULD BE A GREAT PLACE TO KILL SOMEONE
or I ALMOST DID KILL SOMEONE
HE GRABBED ME ON THE SHOULDER AND I HAD TO FIGHT EVERY URGE I HAD
BECAUSE THEY BUMPED ME BY ACCIDENT
gets in a cab and comes to get him
because bucky also
won’t get in a cab
unless steve is with him
could be driving the cab
and he wants the odds to be 2 against 1 if the 1 has the wheel of the vehicle they’re in
and a plastic partition between them that it would take bucky
at least 4 seconds
to pull down
a lot can happen in four seconds
four seconds is not a risk he is willing to take in that scenario
bucky is always going to be this particular flavour of wreck
always and forever
but he’s alive.
and there are circumstances
there are circumstances where bucky is not a wreck
and they are circumstances like steve showing up for him
and putting a hand on the back of his neck
and making him feel like it’s okay if he doesn’t know how to be a gay icon in new york city in 2014
because he still knows how to sit with steve in the back of a cab
and not worry about showing too much of himself.
I THINK WHAT PISSED ME OFF THE MOST IN CAP 2 IS HOW LITTLE MILK PIERCE POURS IN THAT GLASS. LIKE IT’S THE TINIEST PORTION OF MILK IMAGINABLE. “DO YOU WANT SOME FUCKING MILK” NO LET ME POUR MY OWN FUCKING MILK. AND LET ME POUR THE LEAST. POSSIBLE. MILK. I CAN. POSSIBLY POUR INTO THIS GLASS. THE SMALLEST PORTION OF MILK POSSIBLE. U HAD AN ENTIRE CARTON. AND A LARGE GLASS. AND YOU POUR WHAT. LIKE. 2 INCHES OF MILK INTO THAT GLASS. PIERCE PISSED ME OFF THE MOST IN THAT SCENE.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE
finally someone says it
Sebastian Stan on Bucky’s mindset when he decides not to let Steve die