stone supervillain

But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day/Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

Oct 20

(via witchthot)


benvenutoailmioblog:

First date like

image

image

(via cruzan-confusion)



tsarcasm:

she had no fucks left to spare for this job, i live

(via hairhattedghouligan)


Oct 19

I’m so fucking irritated by that idiotic ‘mood swings cause people to become unintentionally abusive’ post. Fuck you. I have a disability that causes mood swings and if I let myself get mean at people for that then it would be intentionally fucking shitty and abusive. 

And tons of abusers employ that excuse and that pattern of ‘it’s just mood swings that make me alternate between loving and hurting you’ to get away with shit. 


tw for abuse

secretandroid:

imnotevilimjustwrittenthatway:

secretandroid:

prudewheresmyghost:

creatingmyselfasigo:

theindivisibles:

smitethepatriarchy:

tommcready:

sooooo sick of yall putting ‘sudden mood swings’ in the lists of abusive traits like that isnt a symptom of many stigmatised mental illnesses i see you 

This is so true, and it’s not an abusive trait. “Mood swings” are involuntary and due to changes in serotonin or dopamine or something like that. Abusers deliberately choose to act suddenly angry or sad or whatever in order to manipulate their victim.

i disagree with the argument that abuse is necessarily intentional. there is a big difference between emotion and action. 
all emotions are valid but no amount of emotional turmoil excuses abusive actions.
you don’t get a free pass to act abusive ‘unintentionally’ just because you have a history of abuse or fit the criteria for a mental illness. we are each responsible for our own actions, whether we have difficulty regulating our emotions or not.

Everybody messes up sometimes but when it becomes a recurring theme it is problematic, whether it is intentional or not.

That needed to be said. Abuse is often not intentional. Many abusers DO have sudden mood swings that they do not control that cause them to lash out (and often, to think they’re justified at the time). I’d go as far as to say most people with mood swings are not abusive (obviously I don’t have statistics for this), but ALL of the abusers I’ve known have had them.

Abuse IS intentional. An abuser’s intent is to control their victim[s] into getting what they want. They’re entitled people who will use anything as an excuse in attempts to justify their controlling behaviour. Abusers KNOW what they are doing. If an abuser happens to have mood swings/or whatever other symptom & uses that as an excuse to abuse, the abuser is to blame, not the mood swings. I’m pretty sure that’s all the OP was saying ?

we need to differentiate here between An Abuser and abusive behaviors, which often CAN and DO happen unintentionally (and yes sometimes due to mental illness). a person can do an abusive thing accidentally, it does not necessarily make them An Abuser. abuse does not have to be intentional to be abuse. that is a dangerous idea. i often see people deny acting abusively because they didn’t realize what they were doing. 

mood swings are not inherently abusive. they CAN be a red flag. both of these things need to be acknowledged.

Maybe this is just a language problem but I’m kind of disturbed by the idea that ‘person who does abusive things’ and ‘abusive person’ are separate concepts. And by the defensiveness.

(Re: the mood swings thing….ime mood swings have less to do with abuse than abusers being incredibly entitled and angry and it therefore being very easy to do something they react badly to.)

what you are calling defensiveness is 1) me being angry (although i thought i was being pretty calm), as a victim of abuse, at the suggestion that abuse has to be intentional to be abuse, especially because “lack of intent” is a concept that’s been used to excuse abusing me, and 2) my frustration that people on both “sides” always refuse to acknowledge any nuance in these conversations (of which there are a dozen on my dash right now) and the fact that every time i try to bring it up on tumblr, someone suggests that i’m being an apologist or trying to hide something, which is upsetting and really hurtful.

i’m not saying “person who does abusive things” and “abusive person” are separate. i’m differentiating between an isolated, unintentional yet still abusive incident, and a pattern of abuse… aka what’s being described above with “an abuser’s intent is to control their victim[s] into getting what they want.” that’s referring to a specific concept and, imo, it is a necessary distinction to make between a person who intentionally harms others and has a history of abusive behavior vs. someone being abusive accidentally and correcting the behavior when they realize what they did.

also it must be said that some people definitely show a pattern of abuse but still don’t do it intentionally. i’ve been abused by people like that. i believe that they are still abusers. i just completely disagree with the idea that it has to be intentional. it invalidates what i have experienced and it’s dangerous.

I think you and me mean something different by ‘abuse’? The definition in my head is always a pattern or a whole relationship dynamic, and is by definition repeated, endless, part of the atmosphere etc. Someone doing something wrong once isn’t abusive, I don’t think?

(Granted, sometimes abusive people escalating can look like ‘just once’ to outside people, but that’s not the same thing)

Correct me if I’m wrong, but by ‘unintentional abuse’ do you mean ‘does not know that actions are abusive’ or do you mean ‘does not control or choose own actions’? Because there’s kind of a crucial difference between the two. I’m sure my abusive ex never thought they were being abusive, but they definitely chose to do what they did, they had free will and so forth.

And also I feel some types of bad about the idea that discussions of abuse always are called ‘not nuanced enough’ and there’s so frequently the criticism that ‘well it’s more complicated then that’ as a way to side with people who do, as you say, abusive behaviors. 


tw for abuse

secretandroid:

prudewheresmyghost:

creatingmyselfasigo:

theindivisibles:

smitethepatriarchy:

tommcready:

sooooo sick of yall putting ‘sudden mood swings’ in the lists of abusive traits like that isnt a symptom of many stigmatised mental illnesses i see you 

This is so true, and it’s not an abusive trait. “Mood swings” are involuntary and due to changes in serotonin or dopamine or something like that. Abusers deliberately choose to act suddenly angry or sad or whatever in order to manipulate their victim.

i disagree with the argument that abuse is necessarily intentional. there is a big difference between emotion and action.
all emotions are valid but no amount of emotional turmoil excuses abusive actions.
you don’t get a free pass to act abusive ‘unintentionally’ just because you have a history of abuse or fit the criteria for a mental illness. we are each responsible for our own actions, whether we have difficulty regulating our emotions or not.

Everybody messes up sometimes but when it becomes a recurring theme it is problematic, whether it is intentional or not.

That needed to be said. Abuse is often not intentional. Many abusers DO have sudden mood swings that they do not control that cause them to lash out (and often, to think they’re justified at the time). I’d go as far as to say most people with mood swings are not abusive (obviously I don’t have statistics for this), but ALL of the abusers I’ve known have had them.

Abuse IS intentional. An abuser’s intent is to control their victim[s] into getting what they want. They’re entitled people who will use anything as an excuse in attempts to justify their controlling behaviour. Abusers KNOW what they are doing. If an abuser happens to have mood swings/or whatever other symptom & uses that as an excuse to abuse, the abuser is to blame, not the mood swings. I’m pretty sure that’s all the OP was saying ?

we need to differentiate here between An Abuser and abusive behaviors, which often CAN and DO happen unintentionally (and yes sometimes due to mental illness). a person can do an abusive thing accidentally, it does not necessarily make them An Abuser. abuse does not have to be intentional to be abuse. that is a dangerous idea. i often see people deny acting abusively because they didn’t realize what they were doing. 

mood swings are not inherently abusive. they CAN be a red flag. both of these things need to be acknowledged.

Maybe this is just a language problem but I’m kind of disturbed by the idea that ‘person who does abusive things’ and ‘abusive person’ are separate concepts. And by the defensiveness.

(Re: the mood swings thing….ime mood swings have less to do with abuse than abusers being incredibly entitled and angry and it therefore being very easy to do something they react badly to.)


invisiblefemmeofcolor:

aktx:

tarntino:

me: *sees a white boy* *locks my car doors*

white boy: *knocks on window* what would you be doing if I was in there with you ;)

Ahhhh!!!!!

(via lethalspiderprincex)


“"Anaconda" shifts the common narrative of a man conquering female bodies to Minaj’s own stories of sexcapades without apologies. Towards the end, the only man in the video appears: Drake, seated in the middle of an empty room with roaming spotlights and Minaj treating him to a lap dance. In the final seconds, he reaches to touch Minaj’s ass after she had been flaunting it in his face, and she immediately swats his hand and struts away. Her body belongs to her, and she can twerk it and work it however she pleases, and she doesn’t owe anything to anyone.” Nicki Minaj’s Unapologetic Sexuality is Not a Crisis | Bitch Media (via whitleygilbert)

(via adriaz11)


jaimetalangue:

theshark657:

jaimetalangue:

theshark657:

jaimetalangue:

riotslug:

heller — to hella
je helle                     nous hellons
tu helles                   vous hellez
il/elle helle                ils/elles hellent

passé composé: (avec avoir) hellé

"elle helle" is hilarious

would it not be written as j’helle?

Nope, aspirated h

I see, I didn’t know that existed in French. Is it standard or regional?

French people never pronounce H’s, but there’s a distinction between initial aspirated H’s and non aspirated ones.

If it’s aspirated, it doesn’t allow the liaison and the elision.

(via queenglossophile)


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